9月+

37周+去考试,狗狗运通过。
 
被解放的感觉是远远超过喜悦感的,不用喂奶的时候去补考是件多么幸福的事。
 
希望老妈和小木都顺利平安到达,那这个7月就太圆满了。
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8月+

小抓狂,觉得休假比上班还累。
 
MW来信来电,好消息是看来吃铁片还是管用了,单位铁含量由10升到了10.3,坏消息是还是缺铁,下次再去抽血先。
 
很郁闷,都快一周一次了,每次都是两管四管像拧开开关的自来水,觉得比以前更容易晕了,造的没有抽的快恐是原因。
 
不知道是不是nesting instinct大爆发,赶着在老妈/小木到来前打点好一切。洗刷刷抹擦擦的工作无穷无尽,囤积购物已成为列单-抓货-交钱-闪人一点乐趣都没有的事。对未来小木大小肥瘦及成长速度一点概念没有,索性new born, 0-3M, 3-6M,6-9M,9-12M,12-18M每个尺寸的衣服都备一件先。由小洗到大,很是感慨,小朋朋的长大太迅雷不及掩耳了,真希望可以见证他成长的每时每刻,唉,这真的是件很奢侈的事情的说。
 
现在我们的拍拍-踢已经互动的很有默契了,跟小木同睡同起的规律在培养中,希望他以后会是个省心省力的天使宝宝。虽然大肚皮你现在真的很重,但以后我肯定会想念你的。有段时光,我跟小木曾经贴的很近很近。
 
怀孕真的是段很奇特的经历,就像老爸说的,我一生中不过可能才有机会经历两次而已。所以早上当S问我,你觉得以后你还会再要个孩子吗(潜台词是看你现在有那么多不爽)的时候,我想都没想的回,
 
那当然了。
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又一年, 又一岁

N次产检,N次抽血。
 
动针前再核对一下生日,抽血JJ说,咦,是今天啊,生日快乐。
 
以这样的方式被祝贺觉得有点搞,可想想看,从缘起说,生日跟医院要比跟蛋糕更亲近的多。
 
没有玩的心情/体力的时候才会去LSE, N年前的今天是期末考试,想不到N年后的今天,在备战考试的OB4楼写Birthing plan.
 
去剧院试探性的问票,台子很高,只冒出了脸。卖票小哥问,你是学生吧,62.5的位子22.5给你要不要?
 
Dirty Dancing, 性感火爆,小木在肚子里被震的蹦蹦跳跳。
 
跟S走在午夜喧闹的Strand,共识,每次看完musical后,会尤其舍不得离开伦敦走。
 
这个生日,很平静。
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Maternity Leave

下周一起开始休产假, 加上没用完的年假, 13周。

 

第一次实在是没经验, 休早了。错误估计形势,以为30几周后会天天如临大敌。可是,随着千头万绪的事情多起来,怀孕ing的感觉竟越来越淡,小木被彻底忽视,甚至体重竟变轻了,汗。。。非常有负罪感。

 

孕期里,最顺利的要算工作了。比起个人能力贡献来说,M*对我可是太不薄了。最轻松的工作量,最友善的客户,最帮忙的同事,最宽容的小组长。晚来早走得过且过,工资奖金一分不少,临走前几天还狗狗运的成为公司改善产假福利后的第一批受益者——感谢A JJ 一切,很不概念里的外企,感谢所有。

 

自然,有得有失,在人人苦读CFA的大浪潮下,我更加不思进取的在温水里做着青蛙。环顾左右,70后的已经进管理层独挡一面了,85后的锐气聪慧闪的人张不开眼睛。人人都在很用心很努力的为美好生活打拼着,游离的,只有这个神智总在外星际迷迷糊糊的我。

 

上次回家,老爸很一针见血对我的精神面貌做了评价,暮气。这个词,一年来,都在想。把它归因于英国/伦敦/S/结婚/孩子etc.都太不公允了,振奋与否,全在个人。很幸运能有这个暂时运离朝106固定节奏的空档,1年的时间,当career break 也好,当gap year 也罢,许自己一个变化。

 

跟小木一起长大。

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煎饼果子

怀孕后胃口莫名其妙变得很奇怪。

 

比如说, 对大席盛宴倒是一点渴望没有,想念最多的,全是小时候吃的路边摊, 豆腐脑,馄钝汤,麻辣烫,肉夹馍,鸡蛋灌饼,煎饼果子。。。

 

特别是吃嘛嘛难吃的孕初,梦里都在想着它们的味道。甚至有想买张机票回国的冲动,可惜被老妈严厉制止了,言之凿凿,性价比太差,机票省下的钱,什么吃不到?

 

唉,可是就是有那么多有钱也得不多的东西,食物的味道,家的味道。

 

很难为S, 将就我做了很多次创新和尝试,其实很多也很赞,但孕妇P真的是比挑剔的食评家更难伺候,动筷的多寡,根本不在菜本身,全在跟脑海记忆里味道的逼近度。

 

是为曾经沧海难为水,除却巫山不是云之无理取闹孕期饮食版,总是以为真的在这找不到了,直到今天,第一次做了煎饼果子。

 

卖相自然是难看,可入口的那一刹,heavenly, 跟曾经的味道一模一样!

 

就像Mr Ego 尝到小老鼠Remy 做的Ratatouille,过往的记忆电光石火。

 

煎饼果子是在北方城市很常见的路边摊,也是我中学时代无数次的早饭,午饭和晚饭。物美价廉, 一个一元,加油条是两毛,加鸡蛋或火腿肠是五毛。我们那时还是零花钱不多的穷学生,却又馋,于是,煎饼果子阿姨很善解人意的允许大家可以从家里带鸡蛋,加到里面不要钱,深得民心。可啼笑皆非的杯具也发生了,还记得一果友向我哭诉,为什么我一天吃4个鸡蛋竟还长白头发。。。

 

有一段时间,校内外联手创建美丽校园/城市,打击小商小贩,买卖煎饼果子就成了我们跟老师,煎饼果子阿姨和城管之间斗智斗勇的活动。每天上午课间操后,煎饼果子阿姨带着捂在棉被下刚做好不久的果子,准时在学校侧门出现。而我们就偷偷摸过去,一手交钱,一手交货,一递一拿之间,动作极其迅速。而后把热腾腾的果子迅速怀揣在校服里,躲到老师看不见的地方赶在上课前狼吞虎咽。那时的思想觉悟还没上升到民生不易的高度,只是觉得遗憾,被捂过的煎饼果子总是软塌塌的,要是总可以随时吃到现做的该多好。。。

 

 大学去了南方,一个有很多小吃的美丽城市,煎饼果子也就被喜新厌旧的忘了。假期回家偶尔也去买,但总是觉得不如当年美味了。在国内的最后一次,是婚礼前执意的要买一个给S吃,太兴高采烈以至疏忽大意,钱包被扒走,丢了婆婆给的租礼服的订金,汗死。。。

 

很想等木木水水长大了也买给他们吃,不知道那时煎饼果子摊是否还存在,即使有,可能他们也体会不到我们对煎饼果子的那种情感,就像窝窝头对父辈们而言是那样包涵沧桑回忆,而对我们不过是不怎么可口的粗粮一种而已。每个时代都有自己的食物来做注脚,一路走来,路过吃过。

 

哪怕是吃‘垃圾’长大的,也是,幸福一种。

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(zz) Gordon Brown’s Resignation Speech

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Politics/Gordon-Brown-Resignation-Speech-In-Full-Downing-Street-Thank-You-And-Goodbye/Article/201005215630044?lpos=Politics_Top_Stories_Header_4&lid=ARTICLE_15630044_Gordon_Brown_Resignation_Speech_In_Full%3A_Downing_Street_Thank_You_And_Goodbye

"As you know, the General Election left no party able to command a majority in the House of Commons.

"I said I would do all that I could to ensure a strong, stable and principled government was formed, able to tackle Britain’s economic and political challenges effectively.

"My constitutional duty is to make sure that a government can be formed following last Thursday’s General Election.

"I have informed the Queen’s private secretary that it is my intention to tender my resignation to the Queen.

"In the event that the Queen accepts, I shall advise her to invite the leader of the Opposition to form a government.

"I wish the next prime minister well as he makes the important choices for the future.

"Only those that have held the office of prime minister can understand the full weight of its responsibilities and its great capacity for good.

"I have been privileged to learn much about the very best in human nature and a fair amount too about its frailties, including my own.

"Above all, it was a privilege to serve. And yes, I loved the job not for its prestige, its titles and its ceremony – which I do not love at all. No, I loved the job for its potential to make this country I love fairer, more tolerant, more green, more democratic, more prosperous and more just – truly a greater Britain.

"In the face of many challenges in a few short years, challenges up to and including the global financial meltdown, I have always strived to serve, to do my best in the interest of Britain, its values and its people.

"And let me add one thing also. I will always admire the courage I have seen in our armed forces.

"And now that the political season is over, let me stress that having shaken their hands and looked into their eyes, our troops represent all that is best in out country and I will never forget all those who have died in honour and whose families today live in grief.

"My resignation as leader of the Labour Party will take effect immediately.

"And in this hour I want to thank all my colleagues, ministers, Members of Parliament. And I want to thank above all my staff, who have been friends as well as brilliant servants of the country.

"Above all, I want to thank Sarah for her unwavering support as well as her love, and for her own service to our country.

"I thank my sons John and Fraser for the love and joy they bring to our lives.

"And as I leave the second most important job I could ever hold, I cherish even more the first – as a husband and father.

"Thank you and goodbye."

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母亲节快乐

我的第一个(准)母亲节过的很有角色感,去医院被学习母乳喂养。

俯首甘为乳子牛,很多学问,很多辛苦。

很难置信的,可能还有10周+就要跟木木见面了。感觉很复杂。表面上,前期准备工作似乎一直没停下。粮草先行,尿片湿巾成捆成堆往家背,奶粉奶嘴奶瓶温奶器蒸馏锅婴儿车图片书床铃玩具全身行头一样也没有少,很有挽起袖子要大干一番的气势。可静下心来扪心自问,那叫一个虚啊。。。跟已经在活蹦乱跳的木木互动玩耍是很好玩的,可是,妈妈这个字眼,越逼近,越惶恐。

很是不自信,我可以像她们做的那么好吗?

母亲的伟大,绝不仅在于她们怀胎十月给了我们生命,更在于从我们来到这个世界那一刻起就没有停止过的付出奉献,养育关爱。天性使然,天天实践,养孩子真的是最朴素真实亲历亲为一点花架子都搭不上一点小聪明都耍不得的事。

感恩母爱,更要学着,将爱传承。
—————
PS: 女人的一生,因孩子而不同。

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMtyOCoqHTk

Lyrics to Billy Joels " She is Always a Woman"

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child,
But she’s always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she’ll never believe you
And she’ll take what you give her, as long as it’s free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she’s always a woman to me

And she’ll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she’ll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you’re bleedin’
But she’ll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she’s always a woman to me
She is frequently kind

And she’s suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She’s nobody’s fool
And she can’t be convicted
She’s earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she’s always a woman to me

Oh–she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She’s ahead of her time
Oh–and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

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